32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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