Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
