I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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