this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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