my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
