I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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