peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
