1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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