Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How naked do you want me to be?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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