is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
