shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
