fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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