Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
