Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
