My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize