I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
