she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
