That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Randomize
