what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
