so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
