dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
