i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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