guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
