Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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