I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
