I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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