my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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