Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you guys were way drunker than both of me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
