shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
why do cheetos always look like penises
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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