Just fell off a train. Bad.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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