i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
