You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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