All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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