I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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