And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
