Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
