you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
