they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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