i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
