i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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