first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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