If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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