okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
