just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
