It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
