i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
