Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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