Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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