***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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