I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize