are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize