Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
