I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize