susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
