She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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