you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
