That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
