Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
